


we're roommates (but i want to be more)

by flirtlees



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, References to Depression, in the beginning they have we young hair colors, jisung and mark are brothers, kun renjun and chenle are related, sry not sry, yet another nct chatfic lolol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-05-26 03:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 13,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14992175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flirtlees/pseuds/flirtlees
Summary: jisung and chenle are supposed to be roommates the upcoming year, so they get each other's numbers to talk.turns out it might develop into something more.





	1. lol i named you gatorade head on my phone

**Author's Note:**

> ya boi has no self control. :))  
> dw I'm going to keep posting my svt story weekly, but i might end up changing the date for a bit bc idk how well Wednesdays work for me...  
> so basically whoever texts first will be on the right and that's the pov for that chapter. this chapter's jisung.

**xxxxx-xxxxx**

hey, this is jisung

I got ur number from ur cousin...renjun?

i hope thats ok haha

oh hey hey!

how do u know renjun?

he dances with us sometimes

at the dance studio i go to

so we’re supposed to be roommates

OH THAT’S YOUUUU HI JISUNG

if u don’t know my name im chenle

lol im aware hi chenle

its rly nice to meet you

So i got ur no. so we could get to know each other

cuz

yk

we’re spending a whole year together next year lol

ya that makes sense

nice to meet you!

 **_You_ ** **changed this contact’s name to** **_Chenle._ **

Nice to meet you tooo

so what r u studying at nct u?

i mean im going to guess its something in the broad arts lol

thats like all it’s known for

And the sports too lol

lol jisung im aware i did my research ◎[▪‿▪]◎

oh

ur a cute one rn’t you :)

≧◡≦ nahhh ≧◡≦

Oidvjn;osjlakbnhowrusocuteomghowww

lol what??

Um

dropped my phone clumsy me hahahha

ha

K whatever u sayyyy

sooo what do u look likeeee

Creep

Jk haha

 **_You_ ** **sent a picture to** **_Chenle._ **

**Open attachment?**

**Yes** **| No**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lol whats with the blue hair?

i lost a bet okkk

thats all hehehehe

What about?

Well i said it would take markhyuck (two of my buddies) two weeks to realize they actually like each other and want to date each other

Turns out it took two months instead!

Ouch >.<

lol i named you gatorade head on my phone（＾ｖ＾）

lol not surprised

almost everyone ik did that too ¬_¬

:(

anyway

what do YOOOOU look like?

gimme a sec i need to take a more recent piccc

 **_Chenle_ ** **sent a picture to** **_you._ **

**Open attachment?**

**Yes** **| No**

 

well here you go have this crappy pic lol

Lolol YOU HYPOCRITEEE XD

BUT LIKE HOW DOES IT ACTUALLY LOOK GOOD ON UUUU

haha thxxx

my cousin’s friend jaemin did it

jaemin?

Which jaemin?

Na jaemin??

Idk which jaemin (idk his last name im not that close with him)

But he’s the kid on the left

He does dance with renjunnie

ohhhh ik him

my friend jeno like loves him its kinda funny

wait omg he likes a guy named jeno

woah

could they

lol

hey

let’s not tell them tho

I like how you think >:D

hmm i might upgrade you to #1 snake instead

take renjun’s spot away >:D

lmao im honored

Should be

Well i gtg

renjuns calling me for dinner

but ill text you laterrrr <3

aw, ok

bye chenle!

_Read 7:32 PM_

 

**lion king hyung <3**

help

i think im falling already

 


	2. let's play 20 questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jisung freaks out about chenle to mark.  
> and then chensung play 20 questions but its not actually 20 questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jisung's pov rn  
> italics mean its a message that the user was going to send but it was deleted.  
> horizontal line means its a different day b/w the last text convo and the next.

**lion king hyung <3**

help

i think i'm falling already

sungie?

what's wrong with falling?

it's just that

it's not going to turn out well if i end up falling and then i get physically pained

whenever i see him

what if he gets a bf/gf

omg what if he's straight

smart idea

maybe you ask him?

no no i can't.

just. leave it alone.

sry for bothering you.

it's fine. i'm just with donghyuck

i can always talk with him.

oh my god ur with hyuck?

shoot i'm sorry.

pls.

don't be.

ur my brother. i'll always make time <3

save it for hyuckie </3

ooooh mY GOD I DON'T LIKE HIM

what's wrong with falling? ;)

k lol gtg now he's being clingy

that cutie

istg u just proved ur point.

bye loser <3

see you at home.

* * *

 

**Chenle**

yo chenle i need a nickname for you

it's kinda boring just seeing you as chenle on my phone lol

haha

you can...

make fun of my purple hair?

omg how did i not think of that

thx dude

_**You** _ **changed this contact's name to _g_ _rape head <3_**

wassup grape head

anyway

let's play 20 questions

alrighttt

what r the rules

you have to answer every question

except

if its a lil too personal for your liking

then you can pass on one question.

_bc ik i'm going to need it_

_bc ik i'm go|_

bc i don't want to start off on the wrong foot

ok! do u wanna start?

hmm

sure

whats ur fave color

wowow u have 20 questions and u waste it on smth like that ^^

but its purpleee

_aw that's kinda cute_

_aw that's ki|_

like ur hair?

ya sure

is it my turn now?

yup

hmm

so what r u studying in nct u?

dance!

it was like my first love

it's smth I've always held onto

and that leads to my question haha

so what r YOU studying

u never answered lol

oh! sry bout that =.=

i'm studying music education

i love lil bubs

and i love singing

so they go hand in hand!

aw that's cool!

hope u have fun with the 'lil bubs' lol

thx!

k my next question may be one u want to skip.

r u ok with...lgbtq+?

oh.

huh i was just about to ask that

yea i fully support!

i'm a part of it too...

i'm panromantic asexual

so like i'll be romantically attracted to anyone

but not sexually lol ew

oh phew!

i'm bisexual, but i lean more towards flaming gay lol

oh my god mORe oF tHEm

jk lol

anyway we're getting off track

umm who r ur friends?

renjun obv

then there's jaemin i kinda know him

there's also kun he's my brother but he's off in china doing idk what tbh

but yea that's about it haha

wbu?

i'm not that close with jaemin but like we're buds on social media and stuff

my brother mark is probably one of my best friends

his name is very not Korean ik

it's cuz i was adopted

but that's not the point sry.

anyway.

my brother's friend donghyuck could probably be considered a friend

and then theres my cousin jaehyun

and then my bro jeno

oh wow

part of the reason why i don't know many ppl here is cuz i just moved from china

actually my Korean isn't very good that;s why i take a bit to reply to you.

ur Korean seems rlly good!

if you need any help with anything just let me know!

ok will do :D

its ur turn btw

umm

fave song?

oh!

it's all in english

but anything by eden is rlly rlly good

i'll take a listn!

ur turn

what's ur biggest dream?

_to stop counting reasons why i hate myself than sheep to sleep at night_

_to stop coun|_

idrk

are you ok? that took a while

ofc I'm fine :)

anyway.

what made you choose music education?

i think i already said this

but like i love lil bubs

and it's been my biggest dream to influence lil kids' dreams

wow

i think you'd be a great teacher :)

wish you luck

thank you!

np :)

oh

my brothers trying to facetime me

he never gets the time sry

byeee

aw, ok, see you soon

i have to go anyway.

we should continue this game tomorrow :)

_Read 8:26 PM_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol just a lil grey-aro grey-ace here makin ji ace don't mind me :)  
> tbh part of jisung is me projecting tho so im sorry if some things get too real.  
> facetime convo and pt. 2 of 20 questions coming soon


	3. we should facetime sometime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jisung facetimes mark  
> and then they finish up some twenty questions (kinda)  
> (stupid renjun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys so i noticed smth-jisung did call mark his friend in the first chapter, and this was a slip-up bc they were friends before mark's parents adopted jisung so the two consider themselves as friends and tend to introduce themselves as friends at first. just wanted to clarify! this will probably get touched on during a text convo.  
> also! jisung puts hearts on everyone's contacts :P

**_lion king hyung <3_ calling...  **

**Accept | Decline**

 

 

 

jisung smiled softly as he tapped the button to answer mark’s call. 

“hey, lion.”

“hey, mochi.” mark grinned widely, his hair all over the place. donghyuck must have ran his fingers through it. (no, jisung wasn’t jealous.)

“why’d you call all of a sudden?” jisung whined. “i was having a wonderful time with chenle before you called.”

“well, i’m sorry you were so rudely interrupted,” mark teased. “anyway, i just...i don’t know, i wanted to talk.”

“well, okay, that works. but when are you coming home? mom and dad are pestering me. i think they think i know where you are. where are you, anyway?”

mark laughed. “slow down. i’m coming in a bit. i’m at hyuck’s house, we’re working on a project.” his smile faded. “we’re kind of worried about it, so.”

“oh...are you coming home though? i’ll just let your...our parents know if you’re sleeping over.”

“no, no, i’m coming home, i need to finish up something though. trust me, i’ll be back in time for dinner time. before i go though...how are you, jisung?”

it was a loaded question, one that jisung didn’t know the answer. his throat tightened. because...he should know the answer right? he should be fine, it wasn’t like his life was falling to bits or anything.

he realized he was taking way too long to answer. and so, with his throat tightening even more somehow, “i’m fine.”

mark’s expression immediately changed. “do you want to talk about it?”

jisung shook his head. “you have other things to worry about. and go pay attention to your boyfriend, i think he wants your attention.”

after all, it wasn’t every day that donghyuck was literally whining and clawing at mark while he facetimed.

mark chuckled. “okay, i’ll see you. love you.” and the line cut. 

“love you too,” jisung whispered into the silence.

_**call ended 4:32** _

jisung ran a frustrated hand through his hair and opened up his chats.

 

**grape head <3**

hey i'm back lol

oh hey!

i don't have much time but maybe we can ask each other five questions each?

oh, ok!

yeah that works haha

do you want to go first?

sure, why not

what languages can you speak?

well, Korean obviously

but i can also speak English cuz of my parents

see they used to live in Canada (before i was in their family)

and they taught me when they realized how confused i was during conversations

so yea I'm bilingual.

ah, that's cool!

lol thx i guess...wbu?

i can speak English too actually!

not that well, but i'm learning haha

i can also speak Chinese and that's the language that's mos comfortable to me cuz I'm fluent in it

 

**renjun hyung <3 (chenle's cuz)**

yo

those Chinese lessons seem very intriguing now

omg after all this time

txt me later k we'll talk about it

 

**grape head <3**

that's rlly cool!

again, the offer still stands :)

plus it gives me an excuse to meet you before school

haha ok thx

alright its my turn right

right

hmm

what made you realize you weren't straight?

_um idrk tbh_

_um|_

can i pass on that question?

sry its just...

not the best experience ive had

its ok

I'm sry :(

its fine

it was in the past

i just...don't want to bring up memories i don't want to remind myself of

yea ofc that makes sense :)

um u can ask another question i promise i wont pass on it this time

okkkk

what do you like most about yourself?

I'm here to spread positivity (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

_oh shoot_

_oh sh|_

ummm physical characteristic or like personality trait?

either or!

probably my dancing or smth

ik that's technically not a characteristic or anything but i'd like to say its led to toned muscles lol

haha

you really like dancing don't u

yea...

it's one of my biggest passions in life

i really want to be a dancer when i grow up

or at least find a way to do it on the side

anyway whats ur biggest dream in life

to be happy

whatever it is

find a bf/gf or don't

marry someone or dont

whatever makes me happy in life

i want to pursue it to the fullest

and i want to do anything i can to find my happiness

whatever it may be

cuz if we wait for happiness to come it might never

we have to go and seek it

sry that got rlly long winded \ (•◡•) /

its ok

that's rlly good for you

that you know what you want to do and stuff

good job :)

ty that means a lottt

ok hmm

i don't really have any more ideas sooo

whens ur bday

feb 5

you?

nov 22

pretty sure I'm older than you >:D

agh

don't expect honorifics lol

eh idrc

as long as you treat me with rEsPeCt I'm ok

ok sry

I'm not very used to using them so :/

yea that's perfectly fine

ugh sry to cut this convo short but rj's calling me to do dishes now, sry

byeee

aw, ok

see ya

um...ik this is random but we should facetime sometime

ooh yea that would be fun

ok i srsly need to go

bye! ^̮^

bye :)

_Read 9:34 PM_

**lion king hyung <3**

when are you coming

mom and dad are getting worried

pls

i'm sry i missed the bus

i'm walking home now but idk how long it'll take

agh

and um

i think i have a crush

already

oh my god 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe another cliffhanger sry sry i rlly like cliffhangers :)  
> i'll post the next one soon, but i have to work on hw and stuff first.  
> so i had a question--would you guys mind if i added social media posts? like twitter and insta?


	4. i feel dizzy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jisung freaks out and chenle learns something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mark does swear once in this chapter.

**lion king hyung <3**

ji why are you freaking out so much its ok

no its not

he's going to hate me

if he knows

like srsly i just MET him

and i didn't even truly meet him and I'm already head over fricking heels

sungie.

sungie

stop it

we're talking when we get home

i'm sorry idk if i can

my thoughts'll go crazy if i stay

i'm going to the studio

do you want me to come?

pls don't.

i'll be ok

see you soon <3

pls don't stay up tonight

no promises

_Read 9:56 PM_

**lion king hyung <3**

sungie

pls come home it's getting rlly dark

mom and dad are worried

tell em i might be late

sry.

i just wanted to finish up this one part.

ur coming home now or I'm picking you up.

oh god i feel dizzy

oh no

did you eat anything before you started?

...

i'm coming over there

pls try not to pass out

_Read 11:32 PM_

 

jisung istg

_Sent 11:56 PM_

 

**grape head <3**

hey, jisungie! i'm back

oh sry i didn't ask if i could call you that

jisung?

_Sent 10:46 PM_

 

sungie?

are you busy?

i'm sorry i didn't mean to bother you :(

_Sent 11:35 PM_

_Read 12:01 AM_

chenle?

is that you?

this is mark, i have his phone

stupid kid passed out

sry to bother you this late

oh no, its ok i'm still awake haha.

but oh my god...

does this happen often

i just...

i want to know in case

phew

i'd rather not answer

that's up to him to explain why

anyway

i'm confiscating his phone for a bit so he can actually get some rest

because the past few nights he's been staying up all fucking night to dance and its not rlly healthy obviously

he'll let you know when he gets his phone back

you'll prob be te first he texts just sayin

k he's waking up now

good night.

i'm sorry

oh, ok...

tell jisung i hope he feels better

just did

he says thanks

i'm glad hes ok

do you know if he's going to be ok by tomorrow?

probably, why?

i want to see if i can facetime him or somehting

why don't you two just meet

i would but i can't

reasons.

ah, ok. 

well i'll tell him tomorrow

good night sorry again.

good night...and stop apologizing

haha nah I'm good.

k i'm actually getting tired. gn.

gn

_Read 12:16 AM_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the bad quality updates :(  
> next chapter we might get some fluff? we'll have to seeee :))


	5. i’m gonna knock you out into next year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chenle texts renjun and worries over jisung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chenle's pov! (finally)

**injunnie**

hi junnie ge!

i'm going to the park now

let auntie know

ok sounds good see ya then

also

mark hyung texted me 

oh?

about what?

mmm just about you not wanting to see sungie yet

whats wrong with that?

i don't see the problem

well theres no real problem

he just wants a reason

i'm just scared ok its not a big deal

i just freak out about this kinda stuff

and it doesn't help that hes cute ><

...but facetiming is practically the same?

there's a barrier

and you can blame silences or not hearing someone on ur phone

you cant do that with an actual conversation

i'm so awkward it hurts sometimes

and i'm scared hes going to realize that and not like me as a friend

hey

want me to tell u a secret?

um...sure?

I've met jisung once or twice

and he's more awkward than u trust me

and he can get rlly shy

so you don't need to worry about him judging you ok

oh...

wAIT HOW HAVE I NOT MET HIM BEFORE

um bc you weren't in korea

ohhh

you can be an idiot sometimes

but ily <3

lyt <3

oh k gtg jisungs txting me now!

wOW

i did not rAISE YOU FOR SIXTEEN YRS TO EARN THIS DISRESPEKT

i'm not even going to comment on that

love ya tho! ^3^

ugh i hate you ^3^

_Read 10:23 AM_

__

**gatorade head haha**

hey

just got my phone back

sry to ignore you

i'm really sorry ugh i just

had a lot of thoughts and needed to get it out somehow

i guess i forgot to bring a water bottle or food before i started 

aww jisung, pls take care of urself :(

i will...

anyway

mark told me you wanted to facetime sometime?

i have to go for a dance class in 30 min but we can do it afterwards

you have a dance class today?

sungieee take care of urself

oh sry i forgot to ask u if that was ok again

it's fine

i like the nickname 

haha ok

anyway

pls do take care of urself

if ur too tired don't go

i don't want you to hurt yourself

and i know mark would beat himself up over it

...

i'm fine srsly

i just needed some rest

but i got it and i'm ok now

if i get another text from mark

saying you passed out

ri'm gonna knock you out into next year

but i'd already be...whatever

it's ok, i'll eat and drink a sufficient amount

for you lele

omg did you just call me lele?!?!!

um...yes?

do you not want me to?

no no it's fine!

it's cute ^^

haha ok

gtg now i'll text you after class and maybe we can ft then

peace.

ok byeee!

see ypu soon!

_Read 10:33 AM_

 

**injunnie**

renjun ge!

he called me lele!

but don't u lowkey hate when i call you that?

uhhh

lol do u like him

is that why you were so worried?

n-no, not yet

i just really want to get to know him as a friend

and i want him to like me :(

dw he will :) i just know it

thx for the reassurance

oh tell aunti i'm coming back home

will do

see ya

see ya loser ^3^

_Read 10:38 AM_

 


	6. we could change that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they facetime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is in chenle's pov again!  
> sry for the wait, i just wanted to get a chapter down of spotlights as that is my main priority (it's a primarily prose fic, so it requires more planning and plot). expect roughly every other day for this fic? maybe? that's what i'll shoot for but no promises. but this is a little easier to write as this is kinda slice of life tbh.  
> anyway, onto the sixth chapter!

**gatorade head haha**

hey i'm back, can i call u now?

yea!

 _**g**_ _ **atorade head haha** _ **calling...**

**Accept | Decline**

 

 

chenle broke out into a grin when he saw the unmistakable blue hair that looked like it was wet, probably from the shower. "hey, jisung!"

jisung smiled slightly, a little bit smaller than chenle's. "hi there. how are you?" he flopped onto the bed, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. he looked absolutely  _adorable_ , in a way, with the large black hoodie that covered his hands in those adorable sweaterpaws.

chenle cleared his throat. "uh, i'm really good! what about you? are you tired or anything?"

jisung laughed-and chenle would admit, it probably wasn't the most beautiful sound, but it was kind of cute-and shook his head. "no, i made sure to hydrate and rest and all that good stuff, don't worry."

chenle hummed in acknowledgement, glad that jisung had rested properly. he tried to look around in the room that jisung was facetiming him in, to see if he could find a conversation starter. "so, uh..."

jisung chuckled. "i see you're looking for something to talk about. so. what got you into music?"

chenle turned slightly pink when he realized jisung could see through his motives. "um, well, it was always in my life. my parents are both musicians and when i was really little, i asked my dad if i could learn how to play the piano. and it kinda went off from there. but yeah. what got you into dance?"

jisung scratched his neck. "it wasn't as easy as your story, i'll say that. uh, it started from my actual parents, i guess. um." he ran a hand through his hair and took a few deep breaths.

"it's fine if you're not comfortable with the story, i don't want to open scars or anything." chenle frowned at jisung's expression, which looked pained. 

"uh, okay. well, this isn't the full story. but i just met someone who was really good at dancing and they taught me. his name is ten, he's back in thailand right now. and so when...he left, i found someone else. but i'm really not that good...i just enjoy doing it." jisung shrugged.

"i find that difficult to believe." chenle sighed.

"you haven't even seen me," jisung snorted. "not in person."

"well, we could change that." chenle blurted.

"w-what?" jisung's cheeks reddened, and chenle realized what he had just implied.

"well, i mean...if you're ready to, we could." chenle looked at his hands. "sorry, i just tend to be really awkward though."

"that's fine, me too." jisung smiled slightly. "but uh, i'm not available for like the whole next week anyway. we have showcases coming up."

"oh, that's really cool!" chenle grinned. "where are they? maybe i could come see you!"

"haha, you would do that?" jisung's grin was wider than chenle had seen it for the whole day. "really? we like just became...friends though. are you sure you want to come to a five-hour-long showcase just for that boy you're going to share a room with?"

"yeah! it would help me get to know you better!" chenle grinned, surprising himself at how  _eager_ he was to meet this kid he'd only really known about a few days ago.

jisung scratched his neck and scrunched his nose in thought.  _cute_. "hmm, okay. i guess...uh, it's at the nct u auditorium, actually. from 12 to 5 next saturday. i'll be one of the last acts."

"wait, doesn't that mean you're one of the  _better_ people? cuz like best for last?" chenle grinned slightly.

jisung shrugged. "i still have some improvement and stuff, i'm really not-"

"hey, jisung? i'll decide that for myself." chenle smiled softly. "anyway. i'll be there." he closed out of the facetime app as he texted his cousin.

"where are you going?" jisung laughed.

"nowhere, just texting injunnie."

**injunnie**

can u take me to nct u next Saturday?

well i guess so

for the showcase?

bc if so yea

mark jaemin and jeno are all going anyway so

awesome! thx love you ^3^

"ah, ok." jisung chuckled as chenle opened the app again. but sadly, he heard yelling in the distance. "sorry, that's mark. i gotta go eat dinner. see ya!"

"yea. see you. wait. before you go, do you have a twitter handle?"

jisung hummed in acknowledgment. "mochisung."

"awww," chenle squealed.

jisung blushed brightly. "i was in sixth gradeee."

chenle rolled his eyes. "i'll follow you."

"okay." jisung chuckled. "see you. probably with a different hair color. finally."

chenle laughed. "same, actually. see you."

"bye."

**_call ended 15:21_ ** __

* * *

 

**gatorade head haha**

aww i just realized Gatorade head doesn't work anymore :(

muahaha

oh shoot grape head doesn't work either 

ha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be continued...:P


	7. showcase week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the next week in snapshots of conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is in jisung's pov again.  
> keep in mind that the same rules apply-italics mean the message was deleted, and the line means it's a new day.  
> 

_day one_

**grape head <3**

**_You_ changed this contact's name to _dolphin boi <3_**

hey lele!  
idk why but i was just curious  
what did you name me on ur phone now that Gatorade head doesn't work

lol ur chicksung  
get it? chick and jisung?  
chicksung!

oh my goddd that's actually p smart  
for you at least ;)  
ah, shoot, sry i have to go now  
mr. kwon's calling me back

aw, ok  
i'll see you soon! don't overwork <3

I won't. thx for caring  
and what's with the heart?

uhhhh  
nothing. :)

oh...ok  
_was that really all it was? just a typo? I wish it wasn't_  
_was that really|_  
see you.

bye :)  
_Read 12:34 PM_

 

* * *

 

_day two _

**lion king hyung <3**

hey ji  
you holdin up ok?

yea actually  
altho...chenle sent me a heart yesterday?  
and then he said it was nothing.  
i really hope it wasn't an accident...  
but ya boi cant get his hopes up  
ha  
ha

sung, dont  
are you in dance rn?

yea we on break rn why

just askin'  
oh donghyuck says hi and that he misses you

hey, maybe you could ask him to the showcase?  
it's a win win  
it can be like a date and he can also see me  
they even say friends and family members can visit backstage

ok i'll ask himm  
oh yay he can goooo

awesome  
but first can u tell him i hate his guts I can't have him thinking I like him  
ew

lmao wow  
i'll tell him

gtg teach's callin  
see ya

love ya loser  
_Read 12:45 PM_

* * *

 

_day three_

**dolphin boi <3**

sungie!  
how are you?  
how're showcase rehearsals going?

leleeee I missed you  
they're going pretty good actually, i'm p surprised.  
I actually thought itd be worse

well that's good right?  
I cant wait to see you!

auihfds  
aww  
oh did I tell you you could come backstage before the performance?  
I can let the director know

what rlly?  
I mean...that would be kinda unfair  
we haven't even met or anyrhing...

no its fine srsly.  
I rlly want u to

o...ok  
any specific time?

uh anytime before 4:15

got it! see you then

see youuu  
k I gtg now bye

see you!  
_Read 1:24 PM_

 

**lion king hyung <3**

agh hyung I think I came on too strong...

its gonna be ok  
damage is done  
he said yes, right?

yea...

so theres nothing to worry about  
now stop dancing at the studio jc  
give urself a break  
we can watch ur faves ;)

green tea mochi?

ofc

see you @ home then

love ya bro

ew  
jk lyt

* * *

 

_day four_

_**dolphin boi <3 ** _ **is calling...**

**Accept | Decline**

jisung clicked the accept button as he lifted the towel to his head. "hey, lele. why'd you call?"

chenle just shrugged. "wanted to make sure you weren't stressing yourself out. maybe we could talk about something."

"sure, i don't mind." jisung smiled and rubbed the towel on his head to dry out his hair. "maybe we could talk about uni? it's been stressing me out a bit and...i don't know, you're going in with me so..."

chenle giggled, not unlike his hearty dolphin laugh. "well, if you really want to know, i'm kind of excited. i'm excited for that freedom. maybe i'll find something that makes me super happy and...i'm not sure why, but the thought of being alone there is kind of exciting in a way. so, yeah."

"well, you're not going to be  _alone_ ," jisung joked. "you're going to have me."

"yeah," chenle said quietly, almost in contemplation. "yeah. you're right. i'm going to have you."

and in that moment, jisung realized just how deep in he was.

they went on, talking about anything that came to mind. but unlike most conversations jisung had, he didn't feel like they were fishing for anything to talk about. it felt...comfortable. and he loved it more than he expected to.

**_call ended 1:43:23_ **

* * *

 

_day five_

**lion king hyung** **< 3**

mrk  
can you cme home

jisung?  
are you ok?

agh whats the point in lying  
no

oh, jisungie…  
can you faceitme?

no no i look ugly  
I've been crying for the past hr my head hurts so bad

whats wrong?

you know those times when i physically cant focus  
it happened today  
and mr. kwon got rlly mad  
and guess who started to cry like the weakling he is

stop  
just stop right there  
it's ok  
you're not weak  
it's ok   
take a break ok  
we can cuddle and watch some movies if you want

that would be great  
thanks hyung  
you always know how to cheer me up

ofc jisung <3  
do you need me to pick you up?

pls

i'll be there <3  
stay safe

will do

* * *

 

_day six_

**dolphin** **boi**

jisungie!  
how are you!

stressed

aw i wish we could destress together

aw thanks  
it means a lot that ur even thinking of me

ofc jisung! why wouldn't I???

haha  
wait so when are we supposed to turn in all the uni papers?

you got a bit dw  
also if u need any help on it lmk

aw thx I will

n e ways  
ty for inviting me for tomorrow

ty for coming!  
how can I repay you?

ahahah you dont have to

plsss

well...ok fine  
its up to u I honestly dont care

ooh, maybe you could come to the big thing that our friend group does?  
they wouldn mind a new face!

u sure?

ya!  
they'd love you i'm sure

haha how r u so sure?  
you've never met me in person

I just know it  
it's right after the showcase  
jaehyun taeyong (my cousin and his bf) jaemin jeno mark donghyuck renjun and I always carpool w/ jaehyun's van  
we can take another person

ooh, ok  
that sounds fun!

awesome!  
we go to a different thing each yr so idrk what to expect haha  
anyway i'll let my friends know

okie!  
tysm for treating me like one of you guys

ofc!  
we're spending a whole yr together after all...

haha true  
anyway  
gtg

alrighty  
see ya

see ya!

 

**jAeMiN cHaNgE ThE nAmE oNe mOrE tImE I dArE YoU**

**notbabychick**  
k he said yessss  
pls dont embarrass me guys I have a whole yr of uni to do that =.=

 **nah  
** lmao why u so worried

 **rawr XD**  
yea its gonna b ok  
its just ur crusssssh

 **notbabychick**  
aghhhh

 **injeolmi**  
oh? you have a crush on chenle?  
huh  
hurt him and ur gonna get it, k? :)

 **notbabychick**  
o...ok

 **jemaybe**  
dont do this to the poor boi :(

 **notbabychick**  
i'm not a poor boi but ty jeno

 **dingdong  
** haha 

 **notbabychick**  
pls dont ok  
its the first time im meeting him

 **rawr XD**  
dont worry they wont  
or they'll get it :D

 **dingdong**  
babe you're not scary

 **notbabychick**  
in front of my salad?

 **dingdong**  
haha  
but fine we wont  
we see how much chenle means to you

 **notbabychick**  
thx guys  
ilygsm  
you the real ones

 **nah**  
ofc.  
anything for you  <3

 **dingdong**  
ewwww sap level: MAXIMUM

 **notbabychick**  
k guys gtg sleep  
you guys sleep too

 **rawr XD**  
wow, hes actually caring???  
gasp  
what did chenle do to u

 **notbabychick**  
ok actually shut up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's all lol  
> do you guys like the spacing or should I change it back?  
> d-day's comin guysss  
> (along with chenle's pov)  
> and if you guys are confused on the nicknames in the last texting thingy...  
> notbabychick: jisung  
> nah: jaemin  
> rawr XD: mark  
> injeolmi: renjun  
> jemaybe: jeno  
> dingdong: donghyuck  
> no one else makes an appearance in the gc yet


	8. showcase day (pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's the day of the showcase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chenle's pov! it's mostly prose this time around. sry it's a little late

"chenle, i swear to god, why are you spending so long on choosing a stupid outfit?" renjun groaned. "it's literally a showcase. he didn't even say he'd see you afterwards!"

said boy only rolled his eyes. "actually, he said i could come early. doubted him for a second but he was serious 'bout it. so...i want to make a good impression."

"if i didn't know any better, i'd think this was a crush," renjun said with a smirk. he walked over to chenle's mess of a closet and sifted through the clothes. "hmm. maybe this sweater? it looks really nice on you. and i think he'd like it too." renjun  _winked_ , and chenle almost gagged.

"gross," chenle whined, flopping on his bed. "throw it to me, ge." and the elder did so. 

"now get out," chenle said with a faux sweet smile. 

"gladly." renjun stepped out of the room and chenle closed the door after him. he quickly changed and checked his phone. 11:35.

 

**chicksung**

hey is it ok if i come in ten minutes or so?  
i would come earlier but i wasn't sure what to wear haha  
and ik it's pretty early, but I wanted to see the whole thing

oh yea, sure! that's fine.  
i'll be expecting you soon then haha

see you! ^^

 

chenle tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach.

***

the car ride was stifling. butterflies flew like mad in chenle's stomach, and this time he didn't care enough to pretend they weren't there. 

"are you excited?" asked renjun.

"that's an understatement," chenle murmured, staring out the window. "so this'll be the place i'll be at for four years, huh."

"yep." renjun sighed quietly. "it's crazy...i remember you when you were a little ten-year-old and you saw pictures of this place and you said you wanted to go there." he chuckled. "and look at you. your dreams are coming true." he patted chenle's shoulder. "i'm proud of you, le."

chenle pouted. "stop being sappy, ge," he whined, fumbling for the handle.

renjun only chuckled as the younger ran for the auditorium door. people had already started finding seats, but a seat wasn't the most important thing to chenle at the moment. 

the most important thing was to find his new roommate.

"hey!" chenle yelled out to one of the men heading security. "um...park jisung allowed me backstage? i'm a little early but..." his voice trailed off as he tried to find the words.

the man smiled slightly. "you must be zhong chenle. you can come in." he drew the curtain back and allowed chenle to step in.

the backstage was more than chenle expected, to be honest. there was a door with 'break room' written all over in multiple languages, and the small window hinted to high end items. his heart fluttered in excitement, but that wasn't the point of his visit. he looked around nervously, worrying at his lip, as he tried to formulate the words to ask of jisung's whereabouts.

but he didn't have to worry.

"chenle?" a small voice emerged from behind him, and when chenle whirled around, he gasped. 

"jisung park!" chenle exclaimed. "oh my god, it's really you..."

jisung's ears immediately turned red. "haha, yea...nice to see you here. to be honest, i kind of thought you wouldn't come..." he scratched his neck awkwardly.

chenle gasped dramatically. "i'm never one to break  _promises_!"

jisung's eyes drifted to his shoes as he toyed with the ring on his left index finger. 

"also," chenle giggled slightly. "you look very nice today. i like your contacts."

"thank you," jisung said quietly. he looked back up into chenle's eyes, and all the latter could think was  _pretty pretty pretty_. "it really means a lot that you're here, chenle. you don't even know." he smiled again.

"of course, sungie." chenle smiled back. "sorry i couldn't get any flowers or anything, i swear i was planning on it-"

"no, it's okay." jisung shook his head furiously. "i'm actually not that big a fan of flowers. like, i am, but not for a show or anything. it's complicated, but thanks for the thought. it means a lot." he glanced at the cue sheet. "so, uh, you're staying the full five hours?"

"yep!" chenle sounded awfully excited, but he couldn't bring himself to care. "renjun's staying for jeno and jaemin and all those people."

"hey, that's cool!" jisung grinned. "they're going on later, after me. if you cared." he laughed again, and chenle only smiled.

"that's cool." chenle giggled, realizing he had subconsciously imitated jisung.

jisung blushed again, bright red. "hey, you want to take a selfie? just to commemorate today."

"sure!" chenle grinned. "i'd like that."

and they continued like that, giggling at the stupid pictures they took of each other, but they both saved the cutest photos for their contact pictures.

***

  

***

the performers were amazing. chenle wouldn't hesitate to say it. but jisung was on another level.

maybe it was his bias, but chenle just was in  _awe_.

jisung's moves were so clean, so like the original, but he had a twist that was so purely  _jisung_ , and chenle wanted to scream. it was so perfect. the chorus...oh  _god_ chenle was going to  _die_ before the whole show was over. and somehow, jisung added a freaking  _dance break_ , and everyone started whooping their heads off. chenle joined in, and when renjun shot him a side eye, the younger only shrugged.

jisung was a talent, that was for sure.

(and as the showcase progressed, jisung remained chenle's favorite dancer.

maybe that was when chenle realized that jisung meant more than just a friend would. but he didn't tell renjun until it was 12 am that night and he couldn't sleep because it was gnawing at him so much.

renjun only laughed and teased him with "i told you so." but as he did, he held chenle tight to his chest until the latter could finally fall asleep.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be continued soon! maybe tomorrow? no promises!  
> so yay they finally met! more of jisung's dancing will be written in the next chapter too.  
> if you want a picture in your head of what jisung's dancing to, it's Taemin's "Move" along with some others; chenle's describing move.  
> and I just wanted to say to IGNORE ALL TIMESTAMPS ON THE SCREENSHOTS. they mean nothing to the plot usually.


	9. showcase day (pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> showcase day continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe i'm sorry it took a while, I did say no promises...  
> still chenle's pov!  
> 

chenle still couldn't believe his eyes. 

jisung had done four dances by now, and he managed to blow the whole audience away. for good reason, too; each move was so crisp and...passionate.

(chenle would never admit that he teared up when jisung completed his last dance to one of the saddest songs in the universe.)

so chenle didn't hesitate to stand and applaud for his new favorite dancer. when jisung glanced nervously into the crowd, chenle only gave a wink and mouthed, "you did great."

he did not die internally when jisung gave the shyest of smiles. nope. no way. 

and chenle  _definitely_ didn't blush when renjun muttered "whipped" under his breath. funny joke. 

(but chenle couldn't help but wonder if he really did have a crush on jisung after only knowing him for what? a week?)

when chenle looked around, he smiled at the burst of pride that came with everyone standing for jisung. the elder had half a mind to yell, "that's my roommate!" but didn't; after all, jisung tended to be the shy type, from what he saw.

"how was it?" renjun asked with a smirk, already guessing the younger's answer.

"a. maz. ing." chenle's jaw dropped. "like oh my god how is he so per-i mean amazing at dancing? honestly."

"did you mean perfect?" renjun chuckled.

"maybe," chenle murmured. and maybe chenle was staring at jisung until he was off stage. 

just maybe

***

**jAeMiN cHaNgE ThE nAmE oNe mOrE tImE I dArE YoU**

_**notbabychick** _ **has added _Zhong Chenle_ to the group chat.**

 **notbabychick**  
hey this is that big thing that we were all talking about  
its with this group

 **Zhong Chenle**  
oh! awesome! so...idk many of ur names  
ur sungie right?

 **notbabychick**  
yea  
yoonohno is my cuz  
rawr XD is mark  
injeolmi's ur cuz  
tater tots is taeyong  
nah is jaemin  
jemaybe is jeno  
dingdong is donghyuck

 **Zhong Chenle**  
awesome!  
so whats our plan this time?

 **notbabychick**  
uh...actually we dont know  
only jaehyun and taeyong plan it for us  
its tradition  
we just use this for chatting and planning to make sure all our schedules are free

 **Zhong Chenle**  
ahhh ok

 **yoonohno**  
hey chenleeee how r u?

 **Zhong Chenle**  
i'm great! you?

 **yoonohno**  
pretty good! nice to meet you  
also.   
are yall lurking cuz like  
we're announcingggg

 **injeolmi**  
wow suddenly all my other priorities went out the window

 **tater tots**  
welllll we were thinking of a dinner

 **yoonohno**  
but we thought that would be too b o r I n g  
we do it every time

 **tater tots**  
sooooo we decided

 **yoonohno**  
we're going to take a city trip!

 **nah**  
w H A T  
and our parents gave permission?

 **Zhong Chenle**  
a city trip?!!!  
i'm all for it!

 **notbabychick**  
oh my god suddenly all the times u've wronged me have been forgiven

 **yoonohno**  
i...

 **notbabychick**  
:))

 **yoonohno**  
[facepalm emoji]

 **Zhong Chenle**  
haha

 **injeolmi**  
le we need to change ur name

 _**injeolmi** _ **changed _Zhong Chenle's_ name to  _dolphinlelover_**

 **dolphinlelover**  
i…  
*deep sigh*

 **injeolmi**  
hehe

 **tater tots**  
gUYS UR GETTING OFF TOPIC

 **injeolmi**  
sry mom

 **rawr XD**  
sry mom

 **notbabychick**  
did u seriously stop cuddling hyuck to text that

 **rawr XD**  
no what kinda person do u think i am???  
...i'm texting with one hand

 **dolphinlelover**  
[facepalm emoji]

 **tater tots**  
n e ways  
we're going to drop u off and then u guys get to do whatever  
we haven't had a date night in fo rever

 **dolphinlelover**  
honestly cant say i'm disappointed  
night aLONE

 **tater tots**  
[crying emoji] hyunnie they don't care abt us!

 **yoonohno**  
[rolling eyes emoji] drama queen ^3^

 **tater tots**  
anyway see you at 10:00!

 **dolphinlelover**  
see youuu

***

the day was...exhilarating to say the least.

chenle wouldn't hesitate to admit that it was one of the best days he had ever had though. and he laughed at the absurdity of it: hanging out with practical strangers but somehow feeling like they were his best friends.

soon they would be.

but what was the most exhilarating part was jisung. the boy that would become his roommate. the most exhilarating parts were grabbing his hand to admire all the beauty around him. the most exhilarating part was talking about their future as roommates (and maybe more).

he was awfully excited.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry the ending is kinda vague but i wanted to leave it to your imagination!


	10. ew its you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jisung's a little too sarcastic.  
> alternatively...  
> chenle: how am i going to deal with you at school?  
> jisung: you won't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning for references to depression? it's not too bad but it's worse than i usually will do so just warning you. skip the conversation w/ lion king hyung and the 12:35 am convo w/ dolphin boi if you feel uncomfortable!  
> i also changed the format of the little read receipt!

**dolphin boi <3**

**Today** 11:20 AM

asdfdh jisunggg  
I can't tell you enough times how well you did

ahaha thank youuuu  
that rlly means a lot

ofc!

what was ur favorite piece?

mmm probably move!  
wow it was...  
everyone went c ra zy

really?  
ahhh i'm honestly touched  
this is why I do this kinda stuff haha

you have such a talent for it!

ahsifd  
ur too sweet ><

hahahahaaaa is sungie getting f lu st ered?

ha what no

mhmmm  
anyway we should hang out sometime

mmm idk

:( oh

nonO I MEANT IT SARCASTICALLY AHH DONT BE SAD

...you have a really bad sense of sarcasm sungie

yeaaa I get that a lot

hahah  
k brb 

see youuu  
**Read** 11:24 AM

 **Today** 12:56 PM

back!  
sry for the wait

ew its you [rolling eyes emoji]

wow is this really hwo its going to be?  
the bEtRaYaL

s i g h

i'll stop being dramatic when you stop being sarcastic

so...never?

siiiiigh  
suppose so  
so school starts the 28th, right?

yus  
it does

alright  
how about we help each other move on the 14th?

urghhh that's in a monthhh T-T

haha yes i'm aware but the sooner the better  
so we don't get super stressed later.

ahh smart smart

uh duh

[rolling eyes emoji]  
I'mma block you in 3...

noOO don't block meeeee :(

again  
I was being sarcastic [laughing emoji]

s iiii gh  
how am i going to deal with you at school?

you won't

dat tru  
k i'm probably going to have to go  
we're doing vocal lessons, renjun and me

oh wow!  
have funnnn  
i'll see you later ig

I thought you didn't want to? ;)

siiiiigh

hahha see you sungie

see you [rolling eyes emoji]  
**Read** 1:24 PM

**lion king hyung <3**

**Today** 1:34 PM

markieeee  
what time are you cominggg  
i'm bored and I really dont want to get oit of bed >.<  
i'm hungry

bro  
are you ok?  
I can come over ji

ummm  
dont want to bother you  
i'd feel worse  
moms been bothering me the whole day  
idk what to tell her

just say you were having a bad day.  
that's what it is right?

yea...  
its scary makr  
how much chenle means to me  
I can honestly say  
he's one of the only things thst csn get me to think about getting up  
facing the day  
idek why  
but im so scared mark  
i'm scared hes gong to lerfv mf

aw ji  
I can safely tell you hes not like that  
srsly  
he wouldn't even think about it  
…  
wait are you crying?

no?  
whst makejws yuon tnk tht

im coming

you dont have to

but I want to  
**Read** 1:57 PM

**dolphin boi <3**

**Today** 2:34 PM

hey sungie!  
i'm back!

hye  
sry I habe a hesdache my nrain cant procss crp

oh...i'm sry that sucks

how did your vocal lessons go?

they went great!

whwere d you take them?

new heroes dance and vocal

oh...

why?

I used to go there actually  
I miss hat place :(

oh rlly?  
maybe you could come wih  
you coukd take a class

i'd really like that  
what time?

we need to leave around 1:20 to get there  
want junnie ge to pick you up?

sure ig  
c ya tmrw

 **Today** 12:35 AM

chenle are you still awake?

was heading to bed but I can wait  
why, smth wrong?

can't sleep  
idk why  
mark's asleep already  
dont want to bother him

oh :(  
well if you want we can facetime?

i'd rather not...  
i. kinda look like a mess :(

i'm sorry jisungie :(

its fine  
i'm fine

it doesn't seem like you're fine, sungie  
do you want to talk about it?

 _how can i talk about how you're making me feel to you?  
how can i|  
__i'm so sorry chenle_  
 _so sorry for being a burden_  
 _i'm so|_  
not rn.  
sry

ok...  
uh, i guess i'll see you at class.

yea.  
see you.  
sry.

don't be.

wtv you say

  
sweet dreams, sungie  
hope you sleep well

 _me too_  
_me|_  
you too  <3  
**Read** 12:52 AM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you guys want more gc chapters? i'll try and do them if you want!  
> if you have any ideas or suggestions lmk!!  
> alsoooo expect a double update?  
> asdfg i'm sorry for leaving for so long :(


	11. i am nOT A BBY CHICK >:/

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chenle: i see nO DIFFERENCE  
> jisung: hOW DID YOU EVEN GET THAT PICTURE OMG CREEP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a double update! be sure to read "ew its you" first!

**dolphin boi <3**

**Today** 12:05 PM

omg i see why everyone calls you a baby chick now

 _ **dolphin boi <3 **_ **sent two images to _you_**.  
**Open attachment(s)?**  
** Yes | No**

  
  
i see nO DIFFERENCE

hOW DID YOU EVEN GET THAT PICTURE OMG CREEP

i have my ways ;)

omg to think i thought you were a nice one [single tear emoji]

hahaha that's YOUR problem

:(

bby

:((

omggg i'm just kidding  
n e ways we have our orientation and stuff tomorrow!  
excited?

urm no  
><  
i'm nervous lele :(

hey it's going to be ok  
wanna hang out after vocal class/dance with me and renjun?  
just you sand me

sand

excuse you this is bullying

it's not bullying if it's fun [kissing emoji]

exCUSE ME

oops my finger slipped  
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

*sigh*

this is what you get for calling me a bby chick! >:(  
i am nOT A BBY CHICK >:/

the way ur acting makes me think otherwise.  
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

ahhh

[kissing emoji] sry bae

did u just-

yes i did fITE ME

i s t g  
how am i going to deal with you next year

as a very wise man once said  
"you won't"

hey you called me wise :D

…  
is that all you got from that

maybeee  
nyway where do u wanna meet

maybe i dont wanna!  
ever thought of that?

you just said we should [rolling eyes emoji]

i did didn't i  
well  
i revoke it >:(

mmhmm

...let's go to stray kids café?

yea sure  
sounds good  
um i'll see you at 1:20

ok  
see ya

 

jisung waited anxiously for the car to come up his driveway. his heart was racing way too quickly to be healthy, most likely, and he jolted when he felt his phone vibrate in his hand.

 

 **Today** 1:13 PM

idk your address lol

haha here.

 _**You** _ **sent an address to _dolphin boi <3._**

thx!

np

 

he sighed as he sat on his front steps, playing some stupid game on his phone, and hummed to himself again. while he had a dance teacher (kwon soonyoung, who was an amazing teacher, for the record) he still missed new heroes, the studio ten had helped start. so it would've been an understatement to say jisung was excited.

so when he heard the honk of a horn, he literally sprung off the steps and ran to the door.

"bye, loser, see you in two hours!" jisung yelled.

"bye, dumbo," mark grumbled from upstairs.

jisung fumbled to open the door (he wouldn't admit it but it took him five tries) and ran down the driveway. "hey, guys!"

renjun chuckled from the drivers seat. "someone's excited."

"yeah, uh, it's been a while." jisung scratched his neck, glancing over at chenle in the passenger seat, who was grinning his head off. "this was the first place i went to when i was little."

"is that so?" renjun nodded with a smile. "you can go and sit in the back."

"okay." jisung opened the door and slid into his seat, twirling his phone in his hand.

renjun started the car and started driving. the people in the car had settled into an unspoken agreement of silence, until chenle screamed.

"RENJUNNIE!" he squealed, and jisung winced. "EXO HAS A COMEBACK EXO HAS A COMEBACK EXO HAS A COMEBACK!"

"mm, that's great chenle but we kind of have a guest in the car." renjun rolled his eyes-jisung could see from the rearview mirror-and chenle looked over his shoulder with a sheepish glance.

_it's okay. i like you too much to care._

jisung shrugged. "i'm used to screaming," he said vaguely.

chenle just shrugged as well and turned around.

jisung felt oddly happy that he didn't push. 

"we're here!" renjun said with a smile, parking in a slot close to the entrance. jisung waited for renjun to completely stop the car before opening the door and walking around the car to find chenle.

"you're excited, huh?" chenle smiled.

jisung nodded. "more than you know." and when chenle's smile grew wider, jisung wasn't scared at all when his heart raced faster than an olympian.

chenle waved to a trainer-doyoung, jisung remembered his name as-and walked with him to the room. luckily, the room wasn't soundproof, and luckily, jisung couldn't get a class until 2. so jisung got a rather nice treat.

chenle's voice.

to say jisung was floored when he first heard his crush's voice would be an understatement. sure, it wasn't polished-that was why he was coming to classes anyway-but it was still one of the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard.

he had to be honest, chenle's voice had made the younger fall for him that much more.

he almost regretted going for the two o'clock dance class.

***

"so why are you so nervous about uni, jisung?" chenle asked out of the blue. it had been a half hour since both jisung and chenle's classes had finished up, and they'd already bought two ice cream rolls each (well, chenle did-he had literally begged jisung to let him pay). they'd been walking rather quietly before chenle had popped out of nowhere, so jisung was very much jolted at the question.

jisung glanced at chenle's warm expression and sighed. "i haven't been on my own in a while. it's kind of terrifying, and my stress tolerance is really low, so..." he took a deep breath.

chenle nodded. "well, for one, you won't be alone."

jisung raised an eyebrow.

"yeah. you won't be." chenle brushed his hand with jisung's arm, the touch so light that jisung swore it was accidental. "you know why?"

"w-why?" jisung said shakily.

"because i'll be here."

jisung chewed on his lip. "that's what they all say."

"well i mean it." chenle smiled. "i really do."

jisung took a bite out of his roll to avoid responding.

"t-thank you." jisung whispered. he looked over at chenle, who had a rather...soft smile on. the whole time he had been dolphin-laughing about  _something_ he'd seen in the windows of one of the shops, with that almost sharp smile that looked like he was almost  _faking_ it. but this one? this felt more...intimate. more meaningful than anything jisung had ever seen.

"of course, sungie." chenle said softly, reaching for jisung's hand as he pressed the button to cross the street. "i'll never leave you."

 _but i know you'll get bored of me, lele_.

"and i will never leave you." jisung said with a hesitant smile.

and so they went about town, chenle with a boatload of shopping bags and jisung with nothing but a warm heart for the sweetest being on the planet.

oh, boy was he whipped.


	12. it shows you care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chenle starts putting things together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i'm backkk  
> hehe sry guys :3 hope you enjoy this angst(?) chap? uh. yeah.

t w o  w e e k s  l a t e r

**renjunnie**

**Today** 12:54 PM

 _ **You**_ changed this contact's name to **_jun 2.0_**

leleeee  
wassup

nm, just talking with sungie  
we went out for coffeeeee  
  
he was so reluctant to take the pic haha

aww   
wait dont u hate coffee

yea I just got tea

ahh  
how do u feel about him

ahsdhus  
dont just drop that kind of thing on me ok

hmmmmmm

u already know how i feel lol

hmMMMMM

ihysm

love you too xoxo

exo exo ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

i'm

hehe  **[!!!]**  
**Message not received!**

renjun istg did u block me  **[!!!]  
Message not received!**

yep that's it i officially hate you  **[!!!]  
Message not received!**

 

 **chicksung**  (○∇○)

 **Today** 9:34 PM

sungieeeee  
i'm bored

oh fun  
that's fun

sungie?  
are you ok?

haha  
ofc  
why wouldn't i be?

jisung,,

pls  
I'll be fijne  
dnt wrory bout mr

jisung?  
are you crying?

wyh dyu care  
pls  
jst stop polying with mf frrerkings

sung  
breathe pls  
i can't understand what ur saying

good

sungie  
don't do this

why shouldn't i

jisung...  
**Read** 9:45 PM

 

**jun 2.0**

**Today** 9:53 PM

lele are you ok 

ofc I'm fine

don't lie to me i can hear you crying  
istg was it jisung

what can i do

what's wrong?  
did he hurt you?

no?  
well maybe,,  
that's not the point

what do you mean?  
how is that not the point?

he's hurting so much junnie  
i can't help him  
he's not telling me anything and i just  
want to help him  
be there  
but i can't bc he's shutting me out  
is he really hurting that much?

oh, chenle...

ik  
i'm aware  
it's stupid  
haha

no  
it shows you care  
and that's completely ok  
now let me in

it was never locked  
**Read** 9:59 PM

* * *

**chicksung** **(○∇○)**

**Today** 10:54 AM

oh my god  
chenle i'm so sorry

haha why  
it's fine  
srsly i get it  
u were upset

still  
i shouldn't have lashed out at you

no no don't be  
srsly

i'll still feel bad haha  
you wanna go out with the gang? my treat for anything we buy?

where to?

arcade, probably

ooh ok  
that sounds fun actually

yea  
I'm really sorry  
you deserve an explanation

no  
not if u have to force it

ok...  
ig...  
but soon

ok

I'll tell everyone you're going. pick u up at 12? we'll eat lunch too

sounds good. see you then ^^  
oh  
and just know  
i'll always be here

ik.  
ty

ofc  
**Read** 11:03 AM

 

 **jisung.**  
@mochisung

with my best friend @zhongleleloser and beating @nahjaem's butt ^^

22/08/2020, 14:59

 **10** RETWEETS  **14** LIKES

> **jaem** @nahjaem • 5m
> 
> hey, that's mean :(
> 
> **jisung.** @mochisung • 4m
> 
> i try

 

 **LeLeLoser**  
@zhongleleloser

xoxo love you sungieee feel better

22/08/2020, 15:43

 **21** RETWEETS  **12** LIKES

> **jisung.** @mochisung • 3m
> 
> awwww <3 i already am...ily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heheh to be continued :3  
> school has started for me, if you guys didn't know, so it's been a bit hectic. i've been trying to give myself a break from writing so that's why i've been inactive...sry againnn  
> i'm still going to be on semi hiatus, just so i can go ahead and start prewriting some chapters/at least plan them out so i have a general outline for where i'm going w/ this. i can safely tell you that there should be a very healthy balance of fluff and angst ;)  
> aLSO. i am no t r e a dy for a frekaing nct dream comeback ahh this is my first cb with nct afodjdl


	13. message not received.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jisung istg **[!!!]**  
>  **Message Not Received!**  
>  wtf  **[!!!]**  
>  **Message Not Received!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mark swears once or twice in this one  
> this is through mark's pov!

**jisungieee**

jisung?  
are you ok?  
you haven't been eating a single bite.  
**Read** 10:21 AM

jisung  
why the fuck did you just leave  
**Read** 10:25 AM

jisung  
answer me  
**Read** 10:32 AM

leave me alone minhyung

jisung,,,  
what happened

i said leave me alone

jisung istg **[!!!]**  
**Message Not Received!**

wtf  **[!!!]  
Message Not Received!**

 _jisnhg cme bcks_  
_jis|_

**sung's crush lmao**

chenle  
when did jisung last text you?

yesterday??  
why?

he's ignoring me  
he bloked me  
i'm worried  
he never blocks me unless he's really upset

uh oh  
yea,,,he was really mad at me and lashed out  
and then he apologized and we hung out and he said he was feeling better  
but his eyes looked so tired  
and he wouldn't eat at all

oh jeez  
is sicheng with you?

yea

tell him to come here

  
got it  
wanr me to come too?

pls  
**Read** 11:32 AM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof ik it's short dw i gotchu


	14. calling jeno...

**Today** 11:46 AM

**calling _jebro..._**

**call accepted**

"jeno?" mark's voice wavered, and he cursed himself inwardly.

_"yeah? what's up?"_

"you can guess," mark sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "is jisung there?"

a voice that sounded oddly similar to jisung's emerged, seemingly cursing someone. mark furrowed his brow. that couldn't be jisung...

_"i'm sorry, mark...i better go. you're not going to make anything better by trying to find him. just saying."_

"wait! just tell me what's wro-"

 **call ended** 00:24

 

**sung's crush lmao**

sicheng's about to leave, sry for the delay

no, its fine  
i'll find him myself

if youre sure,,,

i am.  
**Read** 11:48 AM

 

* * *

"jisung, are you sure? he's really freakin' worried about you." jeno furrowed his brow. 

what was the point in talking to a literal  _wall_? jisung, besides renjun, was one of the most stubborn people jeno knew.

as expected, jisung scoffed. "oh my god. i wouldn't have even come here in the first place if i knew you were going to be this stubborn about me changing my mind." jisung ran a hand through his hair, finally looking up at jeno for the first time in an hour. his eyes were bloodshot, his cheeks wet with fresh tears.

"okay. fine. i won't bother you. just talk to mark. or chenle." 

jeno didn't miss the way jisung tensed at the latter of the names.

"i will. i promise."

"you better not break it."


	15. missed calls.

**jAeMiN cHaNgE ThE nAmE oNe mOrE tImE I dArE YoU**

**yoonohno**  
jisung?  
are you okay?  
taeyong and i are really worried  
where've you been?  
are you okay?

**notbabychick**  
i'm fine  
stop worrying  
leave me alone

* * *

**lion king hyung (3)  
** Missed Call(s)

**dolphin boi <3 (1)**  
Missed Call(s)

**jenonono <3 (5)**  
Missed Call(s)

* * *

**jAeMiN cHaNgE ThE nAmE oNe mOrE tImE I dArE YoU**

**dingdong**  
jisung?  
why is jeno texting me asking if ik where you went?

**notbabychick**  
how about you leave me alone  
i always give you space  
now give me mine  
stop trying to find me  
i'm tired of this

**Leave this conversation?**  
**Yes** | No

**notbabychick** left the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> check the missed calls carefully :)


	16. reflections.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he goes to the dance room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight trigger warning for overworking and injuries. stay safe guys <3

he'd run all the way from jeno's house to the studio he'd grown used to. he didn't look up at hoseok, the lead instructor, when he walked in. he probably looked like a mess, having just run in like that, but he didn't care.

for once, his outward appearance would reflect his headspace.

he looked up at the screen that showed the open practice rooms and ran towards the first one he saw. he slammed the door shut, his breathing shaky, his head pounding, his heart racing.

his heart hurting.

he pulled out his phone, painfully silent from the lack of notifications, and started a playlist, cranking the volume to 100. he tossed his phone over to the side of the room and started dancing.

his stomach growled.

he didn't care.

his mouth was drier than the sahara.

he didn't care.

he danced harder than he had ever danced in his life. he stomped harder, he turned harder, he threw himself into the hole he had been craving for who knows how long. his cheeks quickly became wet once more, but this time with sweat rather than tears.

 _the way it should have been_.

he skipped one or two songs. down to  _dear dream_. he laughed bitterly, shakily, when he realized exactly what song he was going to dance to.  _mark's_ song. the song the crew had created when he was the first to graduate high school. 

he rolled his eyes. he couldn't care less.

he stepped forward, letting the voices in his head echo with every step. 

and then it all came crashing.

black spots danced in his vision and he landed on his jump. in a second his ankle rolled and all he could feel was  _pain_.

his last thought was that he deserved it.

he blacked out before he hit the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh i'm sorry i promise i love jisung ok :(


	17. lost and found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they found him.

**Jung Hoseok**

Mark Lee, is this your number?

yes...why?

I'm with Jisung right now. He's in the hospital. 

wait what?  
he didn't...try to...

No, no, nothing of that matter. Please come as soon as possible though, I cannot go in with him as I am not family.

omg i'm on my way

I'm very sorry.

nono dont be  
**Read** 12:56 PM

**jAeMiN cHaNgE ThE nAmE oNe mOrE tImE I dArE YoU**

**Today** 1:07 PM

 **rawr XD** named the conversation  **jisung protection squad**.

 **dingdong**  
lmao  
and we were all thinking jaem would change the name next

 **rawr XD**  
hyuckie  
now's not the time ,,,

 **jemaybe**  
did you get info on sung?

 **rawr XD**  
yea...  
we found him

 **jemaybe**  
that's great...  
why do i have a bad feeling about this

 **rawr XD**  
he's in the hospital.  
he's in the fucking hospital.  
my hands are shaking oh my god,,,

 **dingdong**  
markie  
it's going to be ok  
breathe in  
ur brother's a trouper  
you know that of all ppl  
do you want me to come?

 **rawr XD**  
yes pls  
that would be greatly appreciated

 **nah**  
jisungie's in the hospital???  
oh my god what  
what happened to him

 **rawr XD**  
he took a fall  
you know he was alone in the practice room?  
and he had fallen  
the music was at full volume  
he might not have been found if it wasn't for the fact that hoseok was locking up for lunch  
you know  
hoseok hyung was in the hospital with me  
and he said the last song that was playing was dear dream  
dear dream  
of all songs

 **dingdong**  
mark...  
you know its not ur fault  
you know he hurts around this time

 **dolphinlelover**  
wait what  
i'm so confused??  
why would he be hurting?

 **rawr XD**  
i...i'm sorry  
i think that's something jisung should answer

 **dolphinlelover**  
oh,,,  
hyuck hyung, can you swing by our house and pick up renjun and me?

 **dingdong**  
yea ofc

 **rawr XD**  
thanks you guys  
oh shoot  
the doctor's here  
i better go

 **jemaybe**  
ok  
jaem and i'll be on our way soon

 **rawr XD**  
thank you so much guys  
i really have to go now  
_Sent 1:15 PM_

 **rawr XD**  
oh my god  
_Sent 1:20 PM_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh guys you might want to check the second to last tag ;)


	18. don't worry (i'll try)

** jisung protection squad **

**nah**  
what happened?

 **rawr XD**  
he has a broken wrist and severely sprained ankle  
he can't dance for,,,a while  
at l e a s t 6 wks  
i'm worried  
that's always been his outlet.

 **nah**  
oh jeez thats  
thats g r e a t  
oh god  
but why did he pass out?

 **rawr XD**  
yea  
thats the thing  
he's always had a high pain tolerance so i knew it wasn't that  
but  
he hasn't been eating properly  
he's barely been sleeping  
he was dehydrated  
i should've done something, fuck

 **dolphinlelover**  
don't stress out, mark hyung  
its not your fault  
do you know what could be pushing him to this extent?

 **rawr XD**  
its prob the stress...

 **dolphinlelover**  
oh,,,

 **rawr XD**  
yea.

 **dolphinlelover**  
is it the college thing or?

 **rawr XD**  
yea  
and  
well the thing jisung should tell you about

 **dolphinlelover**  
ah  
well  
I'll always make sure he eats enough  
don't worry hyung ^^

 **rawr XD**  
I'll try  
wait hold up  
jisung's waking up  
you're almost here, right?

 **dolphinlelover**  
yep  
two minutes max

 **rawr XD**  
good  
i think he'll need your presence the most

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> procrastinating from hw (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞  
> and dw! you'll get answers soon :D


	19. awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chenle swears in this chapter sry  
> tw for hints to depression, more so than the other chapters

when jisung woke up, the first thing he registered was the pain in every cell in his body.

the second thing he registered was the bright lights.

the third thing he registered was mark's worried expression.

the fourth thing he registered was chenle's unmistakable blonde hair.

"ch...chenle?" jisung croaked. "what are you doing here?"

"i came here to see you, sungie," chenle whispered, glancing down at something on the bed. when jisung followed chenle's gaze, he realized his arm was covered in a blue cast.

 _no wonder it felt so itchy_.

"but why?" jisung whispered.

"are you fucking kidding me, jisung?" and all of a sudden, chenle's voice was harsh. somehow harsher than the voices inside of jisung's head, echoing the words just spoken. "you were dehydrated? you barely ate anything? you didn't rest? what did you  _expect_ , sungie? what did you _fucking_ expect." his voice drifted into nothingness and all jisung could hear was the blood roaring in his ears, the voices in his head screaming that he deserved it.

and he could only agree.

he looked up at chenle, vision swimming with unshed,  _undeserved_ tears. he opened his mouth to say something,  _anything._ but like the weakling he was, he said nothing, he said nothing and just let the tears fall.

"i'm so sorry, chenle, i'm so sorry," jisung whispered. he didn't trust his voice enough. because the voices in his head had gone raw, leaving the spoken voice just as bad.

the tears spilled, and chenle's eyes widened.

jisung didn't miss mark bursting out into the hallway.

"fuck, i'm sorry, i didn't mean to make you cry, oh god, jisungie, i'm so sorry," chenle said softly. 

jisung didn't answer, just let the tears spill over, let his breathing steady out.

luckily, chenle did the same.

once jisung had calmed down enough, chenle took a deep breath. "the doctor said you can't dance for six weeks." he looked at his hands. "you apparently severely sprained your ankle and-"

"wait,  _six weeks_ _?!_ _"_ jisung exclaimed, sitting up straight. his breathing picked up again and oh god he was feeling dizzy and the beeping of the machines was suddenly too loud and-

chenle wrapped his arms around jisung and hummed softly.

and suddenly everything was easy. 

for now.

and so they stayed like that for maybe a bit too long. sometimes jisung would hiccup out a sob, and chenle would only pull jisung into a tighter hug, and maybe on a normal day jisung would have pushed him away, said he was being suffocated, but this time it was all he needed.

and for a second, jisung could believe the world was rooting for him.


	20. his escape (and his downfall)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen to "you" by petit biscuit. 
> 
> tw for a really low mood in general.

after chenle left, jisung didn't spend much longer in the hospital. the doctors mentioned something about crutches, but it had gone in one ear and out the other.

all he cared about was the fact that he couldn't dance for over a month.

dancing was his escape. had always been, since he was ten. he'd go when he was sad, when he was mad, when he was stressed, when he felt like breaking down, when he felt on top of the world.

and he could do none of that. for six weeks.

there had been times where he almost wished he'd get hurt. that he'd trip somewhere and bruise himself, break something maybe, and he'd relish in the pain.

but not like this.

dancing was his escape, but it was also his downfall.

he loved dancing. more than anything else. when every other shred of motivation left him, dancing never did. dancing was what freed him more than anything else. 

his biggest worry when he moved homes was that he wouldn't find a dance studio.

but at the same time, many said that dancing would ruin him in the end. because  _everything_ was for dance. his diet, his studies, his free time, his  _life_. and everyone worried that if he ever got hurt, jisung's life would come crashing down. he refused to believe them, told them he would be fine.

but dancing was what threw him into this hellhole to begin with. 

"...jisung?" the doctor waved his hand in front of the patient's face. "are you alright?"

"fine." jisung gritted out. "i'll be fine. i am fine."

"i don't believe you," the doctor said softly. "if you need to talk, you know you can schedule somethi-"

"i'm  _fine_ ," jisung grunted. "i've gone this long holding it in. i can go a little bit longer. thank you for your concerns, but i'd rather not hear it." he stared at the floor, feeling the doctor's burning gaze against his skin and all he wanted to do was disappear in a black hole.

"i'll go get your brother and we'll prepare the travel," the doctor said, even quieter than before. jisung almost thought that he had offended the doctor, and a pit of guilt settled itself in his stomach.

jisung just nodded, reaching out for his phone. it still seemed oddly quiet, and he remembered with a wince how he had blocked mark and left the giant group chat. 

_no wonder it was so quiet._

he tapped the home button on his phone and swore under his breath.  _dead_. 

a soft knock on the door snapped jisung out of his mourning over the dead phone, and he only sighed. "door's unlocked, min."

when mark walked in, the pit of guilt managed to grow double its size. 

he looked so exhausted, with puffy, bloodshot eyes and pale skin. he almost looked like a ghost.

and jisung had done that to him.

"mark, i-i'm..." jisung's vision swam with unshed tears. "oh god, i messed up, mark, i'm so sorry, oh my god-"

"jisung," mark cut him off. "it's fine. i forgive you. i get it." he glanced at the hospital bracelet around jisung's wrist, gnawing at his lip. "you've eaten, right?"

"a little," jisung muttered. "an apple. i couldn't eat much more."

"we'll work on that," mark murmured. "c'mon now, let's get you out of here."

"okay," jisung whispered, ignoring the persistent pit only growing wider at the sound of mark's voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof i have an idea for a jaesung/mona fic but idk if anyone would read it :/  
> idk, if you're interested check out the last tweet on my twt, its @/jejuprince 
> 
> alsooo i promise there will be fluff. i promise wholeheartedly. don't you worry :)


	21. snacc™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chenle: do you want me to bring snaccs?  
> other than myself ofc  
> jisung: ,,,  
> who said you were a snacc?

**dolphin boi <3**

**Yesterday** 12:54 PM

hey, sungieee  
how have you been feeling?

okay ig  
i just really want to dance :/

aw, i'm sorry

lmao don't be  
we're moving into dorms tomorrow, right?

uh...yea

ahhhhh

do you want me to come over and pick you up?

that would be greatly appreciated  
but uh  
you want to come over to destress?  
like watch movies and all that good crap

oooh that sounds fun  
do you want me to bring snaccs?  
other than myself ofc

,,,  
who said you were a snacc?

oOF IM HURT

good

wow you seriously wound me >.<

oopsie daisy

lmao ik you're not sorry

ding ding ding  
so when can you come over?

uhh gimme five

dope see ya then  
 **Read** 1:02 PM

"oh wow," jisung murmured when he heard a knock on the door. "that was a lot faster than five."

chenle laughed, rubbed his neck sheepishly. "i was on my way when you texted destress. sorry i didn't bring any snacks."

"but i thought you brought yourself?" jisung smirked slightly, ignoring his red ears. 

chenle rolled his eyes. "i thought you'd forget about that."

jisung laughed quietly. "what movie do you want to watch?" he asked, quickly changing the subject.

"uh, wonder, i guess?" chenle shrugged. "there's probably subtitles somewhere."

"yeah, that sounds good. i liked that movie." jisung smiled and reached for the remote before chenle could grab it. he flipped through the movies on netflix until he could find the movie chenle had asked for and smirked, glancing down at chenle, who had already settled in with his head on jisung's shoulder.

"i won't fall asleep, i promise!" chenle squeaked.

"you sure about that?" jisung said softly, almost...almost adoringly, stroking the elder's hair.

"yes! unlike you, i actually keep my promises." chenle stuck his tongue out at jisung, and the latter only rolled his eyes and fell silent as the movie began.

(he pretended his heart didn't ache at the sight of a happy family.)

***

jisung turned the tv off and wiped his tears carefully with his good arm and sighed sadly, glancing down at chenle. the latter had, in fact, fallen asleep-which jisung would never understand, how could someone fall asleep during a  _movie_ -and somehow his head had landed in his lap.

jisung looked down at his face, smiling softly. "beautiful," he whispered into the air, running his fingers through the soft blonde hair. "absolutely beautiful." he smiled and kissed his forehead, so softly he almost thought he hadn't touched the skin.

"sleep well, lele."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're back to the regularly scheduled chatfic!  
> ...or are we?  
> and we finally get an actual hint to jisung's past? hmmmmm  
> ALSO im not trying to sexualize the dreamies in any way sry if it came off that way.


	22. no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **tw for panic attack. its not explicitly mentioned, but its there.**

**dolphin boi <3**

**Today** 1:21 PM

hey we're heading over in just a sec

oh  
ok

sungieee are you ok?

lol im fine i'm just trying to get out of my room  
ill be ok

ok,,,  
if you need help don't hesitate to ask.  
 **Read** 1:25 PM

sungie? we're outside  
 **Sent** 1:39 PM

he's coming out soon sry  
this is mark btw

"i can't go i can't go i can't go," jisung sobbed into mark's shirt, clinging to the elder like a koala. "i can't-" he curled into himself as best as he could, his chest heaving much too fast.

"it's okay, jisung. just breathe with me okay? they aren't here and they won't be." mark breathed slowly, waiting patiently as jisung regained his breath. "there you go," he hummed.

jisung glanced up at mark with red-rimmed eyes. "c-chenle's here, isn't he?"

"yeah...do you want me to get him to leave?" mark asked softly.

"no...no, i'll go."

"are you sure? i can ask them to wait a day...if i tell them they'll understand—"

"no." jisung's eyes narrowed and mark flinched. "i said i'm going."

mark's eyebrows furrowed and jisung's heart burned in his chest.

"i need a little help, mark."

and mark helped him up in silence, the worst silence that had ever settled between the two, and all jisung could think was that it was his fault.

it always was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> go check me out on twitter @/jejuprince for updates and extras(?) possibly.  
> more on the way possibly tomorrow


	23. the shades of red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he opens up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **trigger warning for mentioned homophobia and slight abuse.**  
>  oh jeez that makes it sound really bad. it's jisung's angsty past so.  
> jisung does swear a few times so ye

chenle noticed something was off about jisung the moment he'd hobbled out the door. his eyes seemed red and his cheeks flushed much too red and he was just...

 _red_.

he fumbled to open the door as jisung limped closer, mumbling curses in chinese as he did.

"jisung, are you okay?" chenle said softly, lifting one of the backpacks over his shoulder. he looked into the younger's eyes, furrowing his own eyebrows. 

"i'll be fine."

the red of embarrassment warmed his ears.

"are you sure?" chenle whispered, wincing when jisung chewed on his lip.

"no. i...i'll tell you later. when we get there." jisung sighed, puffing out his red-tinted cheeks, likely from exertion.

"oh..." chenle frowned.  _is this what he wanted to tell me about?_

jisung let out a shaky breath as he sat in the back of the car.

he said nothing the whole car ride, staring out the window.

chenle pretended he didn't see jisung crying silently.

***

they (read: chenle) had finished unpacking in silence, chenle's heart thumping loudly and jisung with his hand covering his face. chenle sighed, reaching for a phone to call for takeout, but when jisung snatched the object away, he realized, with yet another red embarrassment creeped up his neck, that it wasn't his.

"sorry," chenle whispered.

jisung sighed and shook his head, lifting his hand from his face. "you're good. they all look the same, don't they." he smiled, but it seemed so forced that all chenle wanted to tell him was that it was okay not to smile but nothing escaped his lips.

so all he did was take jisung's hand in his, took a deep breath and asked:

"do you want to talk?"

jisung looked up at chenle, brows furrowed.

"y-yea, actually."

chenle ran his thumb over his knuckles, nodding slowly. "then go ahead. i'll be listening."

jisung squeezed his eyes shut, trying to wipe his cheeks with one hand. "uh, i'm sorry in advance for crying..."

"don't be," chenle whispered, brushing jisung's hair out of his eyes. "just talk, sungie. let it all out." he laughed softly, mostly to rid the atmosphere of the crimson awkwardness.

jisung just nodded, rocking back and forth in the chair. "i...i lived in a really happy household, you know? we all loved each other, there wasn't much to say, we were just...that cookiecutter household, i had my mom, my dad, my older sister. not much to say, i mean, we were kind of well off too, but that was about all."

he averted his eyes, the red of anger making his ears flare up. "until i-i fell for seyoon. he was the first boy, first person, even, that i ever liked. and yeah, i kinda knew that was out of the norm, but i didn't realize that so many people were so against it until-" he choked up, tears welling in his eyes. "until i heard them talking about seyoon. h-he was openly gay, and he had pride pins and all and he'd come to my house under the terms of friends, because that was who we were at the time, and i heard my parents talking...talking  _shit_ about him and..."

"oh my god," chenle whispered, wrapping his arms around jisung, stroking his hair as jisung sobbed into his shoulder.

"you know," he said finally, "that was when my world started crashing down. i realized that he...he always expected me to pay for dates, and he wouldn't give me shit in return and...and...once i refused to buy him a small chocolate. it was like the third time he asked me for something that day."

chenle only nodded, listening as the deep, burning red of want to  _destroy_ singed his heart.

"he threatened to out me, chenle. and i kinda just laughed because i thought he was  _joking_ , he never seemed like that kind of person to pull that shit." he laughed mirthlessly. "i was so wrong. i was so, so wrong."

"don't tell me-"

"he did. he'd taken pictures of us, and he fucking posted them everywhere. my friends ended up dropping me. my teachers that i loved turned their backs on me. and somehow my parents caught word of it." jisung bit the inside of his cheek. 

"no," chenle gasped, wiping away the younger's cheeks with his white knuckles. 

"y-yeah."

"don't tell me they-"

jisung chewed on the inside of his cheek. "uh. well. i'm not sure what you're trying to hint to, but." he closed his eyes and shook his head. "if it wasn't for jihae, i probably would have been going through much more pain, honestly. jihae would always stick up for me but-"

chenle ran his fingers through jisung's hair as he tried to breathe normally.

"she disappeared one night, and my parents kept blaming me. telling me with glares. they never said it outright but the air was so hostile that you could kind of guess that they hated me." jisung shook his head. "they put me in therapy to 'get the gay out of me', and i felt helpless. but luckily, that was when i met mark.

"mark...he pulled me out of my darkest points and he became my best friend. and...when he figured it all out, he got...really mad. he wouldn't act mad outwardly, but he'd always try and find ways to get me out of the house. he was also the one who suggested to start dancing more after my parents had put a stop to it, and so i snuck out at night to get lessons from ten, who would always give them to me for f-free.

"one day, about a year after jihae's disappearance, my parents got really mad at me and they started throwing punches..." jisung hiccupped, burying his face in chenle's chest. the latter said nothing, only humming to acknowledge jisung.

"so mark reported it. sent me to foster homes and i was physically fine. but it...i still have nightmares of it." jisung shuddered. "and around her disappearance date i always freak out and have panic attacks because i keep freaking out that my...god, i can't even call them real...that my biological parents could come find me, but they're in  _jail_ , and it's irrational-"

"no, jisung. it makes sense," chenle said softly. "oh my goodness, i can't believe this happened...you don't deserve this..."

jisung was full-on crying now, but he made no move to wipe the tears. "but yeah, this all happened within two years. i was...12? 13? so...it's been five years and my weak self just won't...get over it." he hiccupped again, and chenle hugged him tightly.

"oh, sungie…" chenle whispered. "i wish i could make the monsters go away...i really do. but-" he took a shuddery breath, pretending he didn't see the crimson tinting his vision. "but all i can do is tame them for a little."

"that's better than anything i could have ever asked for, lele," he said shakily, glancing at the damp tear spots on chenle's shirt.

and so they sat there, hugging for who knows how long, and chenle only smiled when jisung ended up falling asleep.

he felt the burning crimson of anger warm into the pink of infatuation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iM SORRY :((  
> jihae and seyoon are completely fictional!!


	24. better than nothing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and sadly, that was more than chenle had ever expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  tw for implied but unintentional self-harm

chenle tried his hardest to treat jisung as normally as possible, but it had proven to be quite difficult.

especially when he would wake at five am to jisung crying into his pillow.

chenle couldn't help but worry.

jisung always looked so exhausted, despite what he said about sleeping well. 

chenle almost thought jisung never slept.

chenle was cooking on the first day of college, like he normally did, when jisung stumbled in, his lips unnaturally red and chapped, pink bandaids on his hands. the elder turned the stove off, flipped the pancake onto the plate, walked over to jisung.

"sungie," chenle whispered, bringing the boy's hands up to his eye-level, "what did you do?"

"i-it's fine, lele," jisung sighed softly, beginning to reach for the plate of pancakes. "it was an accident."

"sungie!" chenle exclaimed, only feeling slightly guilty when jisung jolted. "what happened?"

jisung stared at the steam rising from the plate. "i was dreaming again. that's all." he sighed and grabbed the pancakes, moving to the floor to eat in peace.

"nope, nope, you're not getting away that easily." chenle grabbed his good arm. "were you conscious when this happened?"

jisung stared at him intently. shook his head.

"okay," chenle said softly. "please, please tell me if you can't sleep next time."

jisung stared at the swath of sunlight washing over the kitchen. "okay."

and that was better than nothing.

chenle gave him a one-armed hug before stepping into the bedroom to prepare for the day.

he looked down at his phone, quickly shooting a text.

 

**chicksung (○∇○)**

ill see you in music theory, yea?  
i hope you're ok  
ily ok  
our friends love you  
were here for you <3

ty

 

and sadly, those two letters were more than chenle had ever expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can i stop writing angsty fluff can i pLEASE STOP WRITING ANGSTY FLUFF IS THAT ALL IM GOOD AT  
> ...sry guys lol


	25. four am.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he tried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for breakdown. proceed with caution.

jisung was exhausted.

it wasn't just that he hadn't slept more than an hour collectively in a week. it wasn't just his coursework.

it was…more of a mental exhaustion. 

emotional exhaustion.

it didn't help that chenle had started treating him like glass. like he was going to break if anyone said the wrong thing and yeah, maybe that  _was_ the case at this point.

but chenle didn't have to act like jisung was a fucking child.

jisung laughed quietly, trying not to wake chenle up, drawing his knees to his chest. of course he was so _fucking_ whipped for chenle that he just let it go.

he laughed into his pillow, tears soaking the pillow under him. he drew his legs closer, closer, until he felt the pressure in his chest become external too, and he laughed and sobbed and felt absolutely hysterical.

after all, it was 4 in the morning and jisung had been trying to fall asleep for six hours. what else did he expect.

he laughed harder, his sobs growing louder, and somewhere along the way chenle woke up.

"jisung?" 

his breathing picked up. black spots danced in his vision. he was crazy.

"sungie?"

his head span way too fast. oh god, would he finally be able to fall asleep?

"sungie!"

.

.

.

silence.


End file.
